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| Tyrion this episode be like |
I can't yet tell if I died of laughter (it's SERIOUSLY called The Bells and I can't stop giggling about it) or from excessive eye rolling but, yep, I'm done. However, I am still going to try and pull it together long enough to write up a review. And, of course, I'll still be here next week.
If you'd like to catch up on the emotional rollercoaster that has been Season Eight thus far, my previous reviews are here: S8E1, S8E2, S8E3 and S8E4 and I also tweet fairly regularly on the subject of Game of Thrones (including live tweeting the episode at 02:00 GMT) . You can enjoy the saltiness here: @noneedtomoan.
Okay quick bit of honesty before we start: as a stand-alone episode, this wasn't as horrific as others have been in the past. I get what people are saying about the visuals.... But that's all the positive you're going to get, guys.
The problem comes when this episode is the penultimate one EVER. It isn't a standalone episode. It has an entire, complex storyline to fit into and it has a lot things it needs to do: character arcs should be drawing to a logical conclusion by now and plot stuff should be moving forward pretty quickly to get through it all in time.
I don't know how to put this any simpler: this doesn't happen. Looking at the episode in context, it's one of the worst ever in my opinion. Characters completely backtrack on their previous thoughts, there is tonnes of gratuitous violence with no story behind it, big characters end their GOT storylines in incredibly unsatisfactory scenes and we're all left feeling underwhelmed and empty.
D&D, the showrunners, have forgotten that we all love this show for the characters: not knowing who will do what next and what will be revealed to impact their lives. Shock value is an important part of the ASOIAF story, sure, but the shocks have to be earned. They have to mean something to the characters, any of them. Otherwise, you're just punking your audience for the sake of it. How can you not care about the characters you have brought to life like this? How can you not want better for them??
Okay.
Okay.
We open on Varys in Dragonstone, writing a scroll about Jon's true parentage... but for whom? A servant girl tells him that Dany isn't eating after the deaths of her dragon and Missandei
I think this servant girl is meant to be a callback to his 'little bird' spies... Doesn't this all feel a little Littefinger? A once-wise man, who's meant to be ahead of the game at every step, manipulating everyone to get to the long-term goal only known to him, now fallen to new lows and now being outsmarted constantly. Are we really meant to believe that he's masterfully puppeteering an ingenious plan to get Jon on the crown? Because he's really, really not. He's a different man.
Anyway, it would be lovely to see Dany actually going through this but, alas, we must see her pain through the eyes of men as Varys tells Jon when arrives with the Northern Army-
Erm. Where is everyone?
All the Unsullied?
Arya and The Hound? Didn't they leave before everyone else?
Where's Gendry? Where's Bronze Yohn?
Whatever. Jon's alone.
Varys is a proper beg and tells him how much he wants him to be King and Jon cannot state enough HOW LITTLE HE WANTS THIS VARYS. Anyway, Tyrion sees and goes and grasses on Varys to Dany, who is very clearly isolated and going through some stuff because her hair is a bit fluffy. Kudos to Dany here, she doesn't need Tyrion at all because she's figured out that he was told by Sansa, and then he told Varys. So basically it's all Tyrion's fault. He tries to brush this off but Dany calls him out on it, rightly so.
How is Varys' betrayal any worse than Tyrion's? He told Varys in the first place.
I swear D&D love Tyrion so much they've given him a bulletproof vest to protect him from the plot. He's never at risk of dying and everyone knows it. I wish Dany burned him too (oh yeah, she burns Varys, but we all saw that coming, right?)
I'm going to borrow a paragraph here about the whole Tyrion/Dany dynamic from Jess over at The Fandomentals. I have always found the Tyrion/Dany relationship to be strange and she managed to put my messy thoughts in one, concise paragraph that I could never dream of matching:
"Tyrion in the books is a ruined, broken man who wants to see the world burn. Might both he and Dany find the truth of consequence in their actions when we see Westeros aflame? I definitely think so. However, in the show, he’s there to continually mansplain at her and it’s why this seasons’ ‘Mad Queen’ arc is steeped in misogyny. Perspective. We aren’t seeing anything from Dany’s. We’re just being told by all the men around her how out of control she’s being." - The Fandomentals
Stemming from this, what I think I love the most about Dany executing Varys for betraying her is the reaction of the men around her. Jon and Tyrion seem uncomfortable at the idea of this murder for vengeance rather than for justice.
How quick we forget, gents.
When our male heroes kill in Game of Thrones, it's deserved, but when Dany, our female now-baddie, does it, she's KERAZY*.
*this is not me defending how D&D frame Dany's behaviour this episode, merely exploring the ideas surrounding it.
Then there's some weird Jon/Dany stuff that I'm super bored of. He loves her but he won't kiss her. She loves him but she threatens his sister with "now she knows what happens when people know about you". She, yet again, complains that she is not loved here, only feared. When Jon dodges yet another auntie kiss, she announces, "All right then. Let it be fear".
Oh great, some Tyrion/Dany stuff! More scenes I'm already bored of seeing!
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| Me trying to work out how Jaime has arrived already |
He tries to talk her down about attacking King's Landing and it works really well because she immediately tells Greyworm to gather the troops and wait outside the city for her; they'll know when to go.
Tyrion says he will try to talk to Cersei (AGAIN) and Dany warns him that the next time he fails her really will be the last time and I MEAN IT OKAY TYRION.
He makes her promise that, if she hears the bells sound, she will stop her attack. She agrees and tells him that Jaime has been taken prisoner as he tried to cross their lines, clearly on his way to rescue Cersei the bloody turncoat.
After Tyrion tells Davos that Dany is ready to attack now (I mean I think Jon was there but he's essentially an extra in this episode so who knows?), he asks him for a favour that will require his smuggling skills... CUT TO Tyrion visiting Jaime and telling him he needs to get Cersei out of King's Landing. Jaime admits he doesn't care about the loss of innocent lives, just Cersei.
Tyrion reminds him of the bells (because he's a man obsessed) and how he's always been treated like a monster. He tells him to get Cersei and take her far away, using the boat Davos will put in place for them.
Oh also the adventures of Arya and the Hound continue, as they're permitted in the gates so she can go and kill Cersei.
Okie dokie. When talking about the smallfolk of King's Landing being in danger, Jaime said "To be honest, I never really cared much for them. Innocent or otherwise.” Let's have a think about that.
Let's go way back and consider why he is known as the Kingslayer: King Aegon had gone mad and was going to use wildfire to burn King's Landing to the ground. He would've murdered his entire city of smallfolk, just so Robert's Rebellion had no city to rule over. Despite him being his king, Jaime killed him to stop him destroying the city and killing innocent people.
I know what you're thinking, though: that's all ancient history!
How about in Season Three, when he confronted Brienne in the Baths? She was judging him for being an oathbreaker and killing his king when he told her even she would break her oath (to her love, Renly) if there were thousands of men, women and children burned alive?
No? Still too long ago?
How about when he arrived up North alone, knowing everyone hated him (pushing children out of windows, killing the queen's father etc etc), but knowing it was more important to save the lives of everyone in Westeros rather than hiding out in King's Landing with Cersei?
That was this season. Four episodes ago.
Jaime caring more about Cersei than the thousands of innocent people who will die at the hands of a Targaryen goes against eight seasons of (ropey at times) character development. I hate it.
ANYWAY. No one notices their Lannister prisoner has gone and the battle forges ahead. The Golden Company are guarding the gates and soldiers line the battlements. Our Northern boiz are 100% outmatched here.
Not to worry though because, somehow, despite Rheagal dying last episode when in the same situation, Drogon and Dany manage to dodge all of the Scorpions' arrows and set fire to the entire Iron Fleet, leaving Euron to jump from his burning ship. This part is over SO fast. I cannot stress that enough. It was so easy; it makes you wonder why she didn't just do it last episode, using the anger from her dead child Rheagal to fuel her.
Suddenly, the gates to King's Landing explode in flames as Dany and Drogon fly out of the city. The Golden Company is knocked down by the blast and some of them are set alight. Greyworm knows this is the signal and the army marches forward.
It's weird. I could've sworn the guys who take out the Golden Company are all Dothraki. And there's a lot of them. But we all saw The Long Night. We know the Dothraki were needlessly sacrificed by being on the front line. We saw one or two horses and a few men return.... Where did all of these people come from? Did you have to write the Dothraki back in because of how brutal they are about to be to women and children and you couldn't have just the Northern armies doing that?
It's weird. I could've sworn the guys who take out the Golden Company are all Dothraki. And there's a lot of them. But we all saw The Long Night. We know the Dothraki were needlessly sacrificed by being on the front line. We saw one or two horses and a few men return.... Where did all of these people come from? Did you have to write the Dothraki back in because of how brutal they are about to be to women and children and you couldn't have just the Northern armies doing that?
Meanwhile, Tyrion wanders through the rubble looking sad (probably thinking about bells) and, up at the Red Keep, Qyburn tells Cersei the Scorpions are all destroyed and Blackwater Bay is no longer held by the Ironborne fleet (although all of Dany's men have managed to dock on King's Landing without any problems so this can hardly be a surprise).
There is some silence, which means TENSION, and the Lannister army throw down their swords in surrender. People are shouting for the bells (I can't include ANOTHER Hunchback GIF but just know it's all that's in my head this entire episode) and they start ringing, which makes Cersei cry in disappointment. She has lost.
This is brilliant. It's been less than an hour and the battle is won! No one needed to get hurt! It's over! Phew.
But, wait...
Dany is staring at the Red Keep. She's v angry. Cersei is staring back out.
According to D&D in the Inside the Episode, she didn't decide "ahead of time that she was going to do what she did. And then she sees the Red Keep which is, to her, the home that her family built when they came over to this country 300 years ago. It's in that moment on the walls of King's Landing, when she's looking at the symbol of everything that was taken from her, when she makes the decision to make this personal".
Hoooo boy, here we go.
IT'S PERSONAL.
Dany's PERSONALLY going to go get Cersei.
She's going to Dracarys the fuck outta that bitch. Well deserved, we all say.
Take her down, Dany.
She's part of the legacy that destroyed your family.
GO GET HER, GRR
MAKE IT PERSONAL
I mean surely you can sense what happens next.
Dany burns a load of innocent smallfolk alive.
...Sigh.
D&D, this is the very antithesis of what you are describing. How can this be a personal vendetta? Her beef is with the Lannisters (two of which she has actively avoided killing, btw) and the Baratheons (she legitimised one of those and how does he repay her? By not bloody coming to fight, that's how). These people running around King's Landing are not part of this so your justification of Dany deciding to make things 'personal' is wildly inaccurate.
Obviously, we're meant to see that Dany has gone mad. That it's in the Targaryen genes and she's completely lost it.
I don't hate this idea and, like a lot of what happens in tonight's episode, I can see it happening in the books, but you have too SEED this idea first. I spoke about this last week but, to briefly summarise it again, you can't hint at someone going mad and being isolated within a couple of episodes. This foreshadowing should have started SEASONS ago. It's come out of nowhere and it's not earned. This isn't good television. This is someone rushing to finish what they wish they'd never started (the feeling's mutual, boo).
And, as Jess from The Fandomentals points out again, we don't even get to see any justification from Dany about this. We get one quick look at her face when the bells are ringing and then NOPE. All our shots are of the innocent victims being hurt and of Tyrion and Jon looking on in horror. Dany has no agency during this episode and we don't ever get to see anything from her eyes, which would be a fascinating glance into madness. Why do we only get reactionary shots from the men who told her this was a bad idea? Misogyny gone mad.
Speaking of men out of control, the army take Dany's cruel setting alight of innocent bystanders as permission to pillage and rape King's Landing. Aside from pulling one man off a woman and killing a few enemy soldiers, Jon doesn't DO anything. He certainly doesn't lead his army. It's an embarrassing display of how little control Jon has over men that were framed last week as adoring him.
Okay we are now on a beach, seemingly leading to the secret tunnels that Arya definitely knows about and could be using, and Jaime sees his boat, ready to be rowed to Pentos (ok) but OH NO. Euron's alive!
Then what follows can only be described as the fight scene no one asked for. Euron stabs Jaime twice but then he, after a while, stabs him back... Honestly, no one cares guys. Euron, just die.
Oh, and anyone with complaints about Jaime surviving this stabbing, I would normally be 100% with you but this is the show that let Arya survive the Waif stabbing with absolutely no explanation and no lasting effects.
Welcome to Game of Thrones: A Show Without Logic.
There is some silence, which means TENSION, and the Lannister army throw down their swords in surrender. People are shouting for the bells (I can't include ANOTHER Hunchback GIF but just know it's all that's in my head this entire episode) and they start ringing, which makes Cersei cry in disappointment. She has lost.
This is brilliant. It's been less than an hour and the battle is won! No one needed to get hurt! It's over! Phew.
But, wait...
Dany is staring at the Red Keep. She's v angry. Cersei is staring back out.
According to D&D in the Inside the Episode, she didn't decide "ahead of time that she was going to do what she did. And then she sees the Red Keep which is, to her, the home that her family built when they came over to this country 300 years ago. It's in that moment on the walls of King's Landing, when she's looking at the symbol of everything that was taken from her, when she makes the decision to make this personal".
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| I wish I was sorry for using two Simpsons GIFs in a row... |
IT'S PERSONAL.
Dany's PERSONALLY going to go get Cersei.
She's going to Dracarys the fuck outta that bitch. Well deserved, we all say.
Take her down, Dany.
She's part of the legacy that destroyed your family.
GO GET HER, GRR
MAKE IT PERSONAL
I mean surely you can sense what happens next.
Dany burns a load of innocent smallfolk alive.
...Sigh.
D&D, this is the very antithesis of what you are describing. How can this be a personal vendetta? Her beef is with the Lannisters (two of which she has actively avoided killing, btw) and the Baratheons (she legitimised one of those and how does he repay her? By not bloody coming to fight, that's how). These people running around King's Landing are not part of this so your justification of Dany deciding to make things 'personal' is wildly inaccurate.
Obviously, we're meant to see that Dany has gone mad. That it's in the Targaryen genes and she's completely lost it.
I don't hate this idea and, like a lot of what happens in tonight's episode, I can see it happening in the books, but you have too SEED this idea first. I spoke about this last week but, to briefly summarise it again, you can't hint at someone going mad and being isolated within a couple of episodes. This foreshadowing should have started SEASONS ago. It's come out of nowhere and it's not earned. This isn't good television. This is someone rushing to finish what they wish they'd never started (the feeling's mutual, boo).
And, as Jess from The Fandomentals points out again, we don't even get to see any justification from Dany about this. We get one quick look at her face when the bells are ringing and then NOPE. All our shots are of the innocent victims being hurt and of Tyrion and Jon looking on in horror. Dany has no agency during this episode and we don't ever get to see anything from her eyes, which would be a fascinating glance into madness. Why do we only get reactionary shots from the men who told her this was a bad idea? Misogyny gone mad.
Speaking of men out of control, the army take Dany's cruel setting alight of innocent bystanders as permission to pillage and rape King's Landing. Aside from pulling one man off a woman and killing a few enemy soldiers, Jon doesn't DO anything. He certainly doesn't lead his army. It's an embarrassing display of how little control Jon has over men that were framed last week as adoring him.
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| Deep breaths, everyone. |
Then what follows can only be described as the fight scene no one asked for. Euron stabs Jaime twice but then he, after a while, stabs him back... Honestly, no one cares guys. Euron, just die.
Welcome to Game of Thrones: A Show Without Logic.
As Jaime leaves, Euron is pretty happy with the situation, shouting that he is the man who killed the Kingslayer, reminding everyone of last time Jaime sacrificed his oath and honour to save a city. Lol how things change. Go get your girl, Jaime. She's all that matters, the murderous, conniving....
DEEP BREATHS
Qyburn has told Cersei the battle is lost (duh) and they have to leave. She cries and follows him, with The Mountain in tow.
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Back in the city, there are little pockets of wildfire burning green in amongst the dragon's flames.
I didn't hate this but it really could've been played on better. I also thought wildfire was much more explosive and spread a lot faster than this. There seems to be little mini explosions and then it just stays as regular fire. Someone wiser than me teach me about wildfire plz because this taught me nothing.
Arya and the Hound have made it to the infamous floor map. The Hound tells Arya to turn back but she is convinced she needs to kill Cersei (you and half the GOT fandom, pal). He talks her out of it by saying that his entire life has been lived for revenge and she didn't want to end up like him.
(Lucky Sandor found peace with Brother Ray in Season Six, eh? What a storyarc)
Arya gets to call him Sandor and D&D claim in the Inside the Episode that he "loves her as much as he is capable of loving someone", properly breaking every SanSan stan's heart.
Arya runs away and thus begins a tale of The Unstoppable, Unkillable Arya Stark.
Everyone around her dies, as per usual, and it's basically just timing and running fast that save her. None of her training helps her here - just pure chanceand plot armour.
She helps Dany murder poor ole Woman From Line of Duty and her daughter, whom she forces out of hiding and makes them run with her, just for them to die and her to live.
Idk if it's just me but I don't care if Arya gets out of this alive. Mainly because I know she definitely will because it's Game of Thrones and, if we've learned anything it's that anyone can die at anytime unless you're Tyrion, Jon or Arya.
Anyway, enough of this. It's CleganeBowl time.
I hate the hype surrounding CleganeBowl because I just don't think the Hound will return to that place of anger after becoming the Grave Digger but, hey ho, I may be wrong because he meets up with The Mountain as he tries to flee with Qyburn and Cersei.
Then, the zombie Mountain. The literal pieces of flesh brought back to life. It... It gains sentience.
The mere sight of his brother brings back the old Mountain (but not when they saw each other in Season Seven because they had to get back to their own storylines) and he disobeys Cersei when she tells him to protect her. He also smashes Qyburn's head against some stairs. Noice.
Cersei is like 'peace, I'm out' and legs it while CLEGANEBOWL KICKS OFF OH YEAH
There's a swordfight, during which The Hound consistently forgets that The Mountain is already dead (because resurrection is cool man, everyone knows about it and they don't have to call him Robert Strong) and continues to stab him and gets annoyed when nothing happens. The final straw is when he stabs him right through the face and he just pulls it straight back out.
The Hound summons all his strength and launches himself at his brother, smashing through a wall and falling through the air into the flames below.
Again, I don't hate this and can imagine the books going a similar way if CleganeBowl happens but it's so much less meaningful because The Hound has consistently forgotten his debilitating fear of fire whenever it's convenient in the show (e.g. to ride a dragon).
Thankfully, a twice-stabbed Jaime has managed to find Cersei in their old rendezvous spot, the floor map (getting as much use out of that setpiece as possible before KL goes up in smoke I guess). She sees him and, forgetting that she has paid Bronn to KILL him, like she did with Tyrion last episode, runs into his arms and hugs him. She seems mildly upset he's hurt but, as I've just said, she has a hit out on him as they reunite soooo...
Oh also Jaime's hand grows back for this final scene, so cute <3
The coffee last week and the lack of golden hand prop this week... They really are just phoning it in at this point, aren't they? This season took them TWO YEARS to make.
They try to escape but the entrance is blocked and Cersei breaks down about the fact they're going to die. Jaime holds her and says "Nothing else matters. Only us".
The ceiling crumbles around them.
Dead.
Anyway, Jon and his army fall back but he should've made them do that ages ago if we're honest.
Arya wakes up and is the only survivor in a city of ashes. She wanders through the streets, bloody and bruised and, I swear I'm not making this up, walks into a horse.
This is the first time I have laughed out loud at Game of Thrones in a long ole while but something tells me I wasn't meant to.
Few things:
1) Where did the horse come from? (Apparently it's JonCon's from the Golden Company, you know from OUTSIDE the gates?)
2) How did it survive?
3) Why is it there?
4) What is the point? Surely the city is so empty, Arya can just walk out? It's very calm, despite Jon's rush to evacuate.
I've had a fair few arguments with strangers online about this scene today and people are claiming it's a Biblical reference (" I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death"). You know, because Arya is Death? #symbolism
Few problems with this, though. The reference is about the FOUR horsemen of the apocalypse and they appear BEFORE the apocalypse, not two episodes after. I don't believe this horse goes any deeper than it made for a nice visual and a cool ending to the episode.
And we're done!
Honestly, I think I'm now so over it it doesn't even make me angry anymore. I just hate it so so much.
I also find it hilarious that people are mad about this episode.
How can you find any episode post Season Five entertaining and then complain about this one? This is the result of all the corners cut in those earlier episodes. And, honestly, the writing is no poorer.
I don't get it.
One more week to go. Last EVER. How can they top this, guys?
Highlights:
Lowlights:
Summative Comment:
Quotes from Inside the Episode that I didn't have the strength to write about in my review but I had to share with you:
"Even when you look back to season one when Kahl Drogo gives the golden crown to Viserys and her reaction to watching her brother's head melt off. He was a terrible brother so I don't think anyone was crying when he died but there is something kind of chilling about the way Dany has reacted to the death of her enemies. If things had been different, I don't think this side of Dany would have ever come out. If Cersei hadn't betrayed her, if Cersei hadn't executed Missandei, if Jon hadn't told her the truth, if all these things would have happened in any different way, I don't think we'd be seeing this side of Daenerys Targaryen."
TRANSLATION: See, we've been telling you Dany's crazy since Season One but also if the events of the last three episodes hadn't have happened, she wouldn't be going mad now. CONTRADICTIONS ABOUND
DEEP BREATHS
Qyburn has told Cersei the battle is lost (duh) and they have to leave. She cries and follows him, with The Mountain in tow.
Back in the city, there are little pockets of wildfire burning green in amongst the dragon's flames.
I didn't hate this but it really could've been played on better. I also thought wildfire was much more explosive and spread a lot faster than this. There seems to be little mini explosions and then it just stays as regular fire. Someone wiser than me teach me about wildfire plz because this taught me nothing.
Arya and the Hound have made it to the infamous floor map. The Hound tells Arya to turn back but she is convinced she needs to kill Cersei (you and half the GOT fandom, pal). He talks her out of it by saying that his entire life has been lived for revenge and she didn't want to end up like him.
(Lucky Sandor found peace with Brother Ray in Season Six, eh? What a storyarc)
Arya gets to call him Sandor and D&D claim in the Inside the Episode that he "loves her as much as he is capable of loving someone", properly breaking every SanSan stan's heart.
Arya runs away and thus begins a tale of The Unstoppable, Unkillable Arya Stark.
Everyone around her dies, as per usual, and it's basically just timing and running fast that save her. None of her training helps her here - just pure chance
She helps Dany murder poor ole Woman From Line of Duty and her daughter, whom she forces out of hiding and makes them run with her, just for them to die and her to live.
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| RIP in Peace xxx |
Anyway, enough of this. It's CleganeBowl time.
I hate the hype surrounding CleganeBowl because I just don't think the Hound will return to that place of anger after becoming the Grave Digger but, hey ho, I may be wrong because he meets up with The Mountain as he tries to flee with Qyburn and Cersei.
Then, the zombie Mountain. The literal pieces of flesh brought back to life. It... It gains sentience.
The mere sight of his brother brings back the old Mountain (but not when they saw each other in Season Seven because they had to get back to their own storylines) and he disobeys Cersei when she tells him to protect her. He also smashes Qyburn's head against some stairs. Noice.
Cersei is like 'peace, I'm out' and legs it while CLEGANEBOWL KICKS OFF OH YEAH
There's a swordfight, during which The Hound consistently forgets that The Mountain is already dead (because resurrection is cool man, everyone knows about it and they don't have to call him Robert Strong) and continues to stab him and gets annoyed when nothing happens. The final straw is when he stabs him right through the face and he just pulls it straight back out.
Again, I don't hate this and can imagine the books going a similar way if CleganeBowl happens but it's so much less meaningful because The Hound has consistently forgotten his debilitating fear of fire whenever it's convenient in the show (e.g. to ride a dragon).
Thankfully, a twice-stabbed Jaime has managed to find Cersei in their old rendezvous spot, the floor map (getting as much use out of that setpiece as possible before KL goes up in smoke I guess). She sees him and, forgetting that she has paid Bronn to KILL him, like she did with Tyrion last episode, runs into his arms and hugs him. She seems mildly upset he's hurt but, as I've just said, she has a hit out on him as they reunite soooo...
Oh also Jaime's hand grows back for this final scene, so cute <3
The coffee last week and the lack of golden hand prop this week... They really are just phoning it in at this point, aren't they? This season took them TWO YEARS to make.
They try to escape but the entrance is blocked and Cersei breaks down about the fact they're going to die. Jaime holds her and says "Nothing else matters. Only us".
The ceiling crumbles around them.
Dead.
Anyway, Jon and his army fall back but he should've made them do that ages ago if we're honest.
Arya wakes up and is the only survivor in a city of ashes. She wanders through the streets, bloody and bruised and, I swear I'm not making this up, walks into a horse.
Few things:
1) Where did the horse come from? (Apparently it's JonCon's from the Golden Company, you know from OUTSIDE the gates?)
2) How did it survive?
3) Why is it there?
4) What is the point? Surely the city is so empty, Arya can just walk out? It's very calm, despite Jon's rush to evacuate.
I've had a fair few arguments with strangers online about this scene today and people are claiming it's a Biblical reference (" I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death"). You know, because Arya is Death? #symbolism
Few problems with this, though. The reference is about the FOUR horsemen of the apocalypse and they appear BEFORE the apocalypse, not two episodes after. I don't believe this horse goes any deeper than it made for a nice visual and a cool ending to the episode.
And we're done!
Honestly, I think I'm now so over it it doesn't even make me angry anymore. I just hate it so so much.
I also find it hilarious that people are mad about this episode.
How can you find any episode post Season Five entertaining and then complain about this one? This is the result of all the corners cut in those earlier episodes. And, honestly, the writing is no poorer.
I don't get it.
One more week to go. Last EVER. How can they top this, guys?
Highlights:
- The horse was one of the funniest things I've ever seen
Lowlights:
- The lack of Dany's perspective and seeding for her madness
- The destruction of Jaime's character development
- Just everything that's happening
Summative Comment:
Quotes from Inside the Episode that I didn't have the strength to write about in my review but I had to share with you:
"Even when you look back to season one when Kahl Drogo gives the golden crown to Viserys and her reaction to watching her brother's head melt off. He was a terrible brother so I don't think anyone was crying when he died but there is something kind of chilling about the way Dany has reacted to the death of her enemies. If things had been different, I don't think this side of Dany would have ever come out. If Cersei hadn't betrayed her, if Cersei hadn't executed Missandei, if Jon hadn't told her the truth, if all these things would have happened in any different way, I don't think we'd be seeing this side of Daenerys Targaryen."
TRANSLATION: See, we've been telling you Dany's crazy since Season One but also if the events of the last three episodes hadn't have happened, she wouldn't be going mad now. CONTRADICTIONS ABOUND
"In most large stories like this, it seems like there's a tendency to focus on the heroic figures and not pay much attention to the people who may be suffering from the decisions made by those heroic people."
TRANSLATION: We're such heroes. Everyone else focuses on the heroes and not the smallfolk. I mean, yes, we didn't see the smallfolk reaction to Cersei blowing up the sept and everyone dying because that would've made Cersei look bad. We only show the smallfolk reaction when we want to paint a person as mad or evil and Cersei is just a good mum who cares about her kids man. The Shame Walk? Forget about it, don't worry. Dany is evil and that's why we see the smallfolk being terrified of her.
TRANSLATION: We're such heroes. Everyone else focuses on the heroes and not the smallfolk. I mean, yes, we didn't see the smallfolk reaction to Cersei blowing up the sept and everyone dying because that would've made Cersei look bad. We only show the smallfolk reaction when we want to paint a person as mad or evil and Cersei is just a good mum who cares about her kids man. The Shame Walk? Forget about it, don't worry. Dany is evil and that's why we see the smallfolk being terrified of her.
Arya's journey from the Red Keep to outside the gates of the city is the "longest hardest journey anyone has to make in this episode"
TRANSLATION: We don't mention the horse at all because it has no symbolic meaning and it just looked cool.
TRANSLATION: We don't mention the horse at all because it has no symbolic meaning and it just looked cool.
"Jaime by the end of Episode Five has come to terms with who he really is and he may not be happy with who he really is but he knows he's not. He knows what matters to him and Cersei's what matters to him"
TRANSLATION: Remember when we fixed Jaime's character and he finally understood honour? And he knighted Brienne? And he slept with Brienne? And he seemed like a decent person who just wanted to make the right choices LOL PYSCH HE LOVES CERSEI FOREVER AND EVER AND ONLY CARES ABOUT THEM, FUCK EVERYONE ELSE
TRANSLATION: Remember when we fixed Jaime's character and he finally understood honour? And he knighted Brienne? And he slept with Brienne? And he seemed like a decent person who just wanted to make the right choices LOL PYSCH HE LOVES CERSEI FOREVER AND EVER AND ONLY CARES ABOUT THEM, FUCK EVERYONE ELSE
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